July 28, 2020
When Things Get Hot
I had a colleague who had a theory. It seemed very plausible. My friend’s theory was that both the frequency and the intensity of temper tantrums, outbursts, and arguments at the fair or other summer activities went up with the temperature. If the weather was unseasonably mild, arguments were few and far between. If people were talking about not being able to remember the last time it was this hot, watch out!
Although this week promises lower temperatures, it has been hot lately. The temperatures, combined with our COVID-19 challenge, social strife, and a highly charged political environment have a lot of people on edge. This boiling social challenge cauldron can lead to people blowing their top.
What can you do when faced with a constituent, volunteer, or coworker? Davia Temin summarizes ten things to remember when addressing constituent discontent in her Forbes article, “Getting Out of the Heat: 10 Ways for Leaders to Deal with an Angry Public.”
1. Start with trying to understand where they are
2. That means listening rather than talking, at least initially
3. Paying attention to them goes a long way
4. Find common ground and build upon it
5. Take the “higher ground” and make your point in a personable and professional way
6. Be responsive and make needed changes quickly
7. Do not respond with anger
8. Develop a thick skin
9. Insist on respectful communication
10. Hold your ground when needed
I believe that most of us know and practice these suggestions. All are excellent. I do want to emphasize number 7, however. Whenever we as public servants let our anger take over, no matter how justifiable, we have lost the battle in the public’s eye. People will not remember the merits behind our argument or how much we were pushed in an argument. People will remember that time when someone in the purple or green shirt with the K-State Research and Extension name tag lost their cool and how unprofessional that behavior was. Worse yet, given how quickly people are to record things on their cellphones, we may be reminded of the incident indefinitely.
So, whenever we are confronted by an argumentative member of the public, let’s remember the steps to defusing a confrontational situation. Even though you may want to act out in your own anger, keep your calm and keep it professional. Those who are able to do this often gain the respect of both the onlookers and the antagonist. Isn’t that where we want to be?