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K-State Research and Extension
123 Umberger Hall
Manhattan, KS 66506-3401
785-532-5820
extadmin@ksu.edu

June 25, 2024

Preparing for Difficult Conversations

Submitted by Chris Onstad

As professionals that work routinely with the public, we often encounter tense, but very important opportunities for dialogue. The consequences of such conversations can grow a relationship or sink one.

Experience with these conversations is extremely valuable, and sometimes the most memorable lessons we learn are by what we did not do correctly…..uffda. A little forward preparation can reduce those moments.

Supporting trainings are available to extension employees free of charge and the link to these trainings can be found within this flyer. You will need to be logged in to Employee Resources to access the flyer.

Here are some tips for approaching difficult conversations:

Prepare mentally: Take some time to clarify your thoughts and emotions about the situation. Understand your own perspective and the outcome you hope to achieve.
Choose the right time and place. Find a time when both parties can talk without distractions or interruptions. Ensure privacy and a neutral environment if possible.
Stay calm and emotionally regulated. Emotions can escalate tensions. Practice staying calm, composed and focused on the issue at hand. Take deep breaths if you feel yourself becoming emotional.
Listen actively. Understand the other person's perspective. Listen actively without interrupting, and show empathy towards their feelings and concerns.
Use "I" statements. Communicate your thoughts and feelings using "I" statements (for example, "I feel... when... because..."). This approach avoids blaming the other person and focuses on your own experience.
Stick to the facts. Present the facts of the situation objectively. Avoid making assumptions or generalizations.
Seek understanding. Clarify any misunderstandings and ensure that both parties have a clear understanding of each other's viewpoints.
Explore solutions together. Focus on finding a resolution or compromise that satisfies both parties. Brainstorming together can foster collaboration and mutual understanding.
Respect differences. Acknowledge that the other person may have a different perspective or opinion. Respect their views even if you don't agree with them.
Follow up. After the conversation, follow up with any agreements or actions discussed. This demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue.

The Extension Foundation provides professional development sessions on a variety of different topics including managing difficult conversations. There are five sessions lasting 1-2 hours that cover some great topics. Please refer to the following link for the flyer information and QR code to the formal site.

Extension Foundation Flyer 2024.pdf

Difficult conversations are rarely easy but handling them with care and respect can lead to better understanding and stronger relationships in the long run.